Parental Grieving
by thescientistwrangler
Summary: It should have been a time of celebration... but Bernie knew better just by taking one look at the remnants of Delta Squads facial expressions. At the end of the day... no parent should ever have to bury their 'child'. (Part 3 of Family Chemistry)


**Title: **Parental Grieving

**Author: **The Scientist Wrangler

**Disclaimer: **I do not own this beautiful universe, Epic Games does. Everything Gears is belonging to them.

**Series: **Gears of War (Games/Novels)

**Pairing: **Bernie/Hoffman, hinted Marcus/Anya.

**Warnings: **Spoilers for the third game. Crude language, violence, graphic suggestions. Naw… nothing _that_ bad. Though there will be swearing in this.

**Author Note: **This is the third in a series of oneshots emphasizing a sort of familial chemistry among Delta Squad and the two eldests (Mataki and Hoffman). The first fic is **Surrogate Motherhood** the second fic is **Surrogate Fatherhood**. This is the final installment. This is going to contain major spoilers from the third game. And as a dedicated fan I request you don't spoil a moment as powerful as this. Please review and let me know how I do with the characters. I only want to do the series complete justice. Thank you all for reading. I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors, I didn't get around to showing it to my Beta Reader.

"_He was my fucking brother." It was just a whisper, still no obvious tears. "And he's gone. He's really gone. What am I going to do without him?"_

"_You're going to be there for Dom," Bernie said, "and he's going to be there for you. That's what you're going to do. This regiment's family, Marcus. We're used to getting through this shit, and you and Dom won't be alone."_

**~ Aspho Fields (after Carlos Santiago's death)**

It was over, it was finally fucking over. Still too early to plan for retirement but hell, it was pretty friggen close! She knew the very moment the Lambent and Locusts started turning into piles of ash…her boys did it! Delta squad, her unruly group of soldiers had succeeded in doing what all of mankind had completely given up hope for. Bernie could still remember the look of utter disbelief on Hoffman's face, his hand rolled cigarette hung so far out of his mouth it nearly fell to his grub stained boots. Once the shock had settled all he uttered was,

"Well…damn." Bernadette couldn't help but chuckle at the smug look of pride. He'd come to the exact same conclusion as she had. Their squad had survived all the odds, faced every sort of hellish situation imaginable…and pulled through. Anvil Gate was safe now…well, other than the stranded scavengers'. Now all they could do was wait, and pray they heard something from Delta. As she and Victor crossed the main grounds towards the mess hall for celebrations, Mac trotted along behind with a doggy equivalent of a smile on his face.

They didn't have to wait long before they got news that there was resettlement on Azura which had once been the safe haven for Prescott's damned scientists. It was far too difficult for them to just uproot their survivors to shift them over to a whole new location. Hoffman wanted to settle matters with Delta, see for himself that things were calm at long last. Once they were both reassured that Anvil Gate wouldn't implode upon itself, they headed out to the new settlement. It was difficult, took a nearly a week and a half until they reached a pick up point. Bernie was ecstatic to see the familiar face of Cole, and even the scowling mug of Blondie.

"Hope the trip didn't wear you down to badly Grandma." Baird said in his typical snarky manner. Honestly, it was a blessing to be able to hear his sarcastic barbs. Knowing that they were both still alive and well, was a breath of relief. It was clear, something was different though. All the evidence screamed out that there was a piece missing, but what? Cole was keeping up a smile that seemed weak in nature, Baird was avoiding looking at either of them. Hoffman locked eyes with Bernie, he'd picked up as well…it wasn't her imagination. The Islander held her tongue, if the boys didn't want to discuss whatever was weighing on their minds…she'd leave it be.

For now. The rest of the journey was no where near as strenuous, thankfully. They were both surprised to see how well organized the new resettlement was. Leading the forefront of the planning was Anya. She still looked exactly the same, only difference were the bag beneath her exhausted eyes. Excusing herself from the individuals whom were discussing whatever was deemed important at that moment, Stroud made a beeline straight for Hoffman and Bernie. A silent conversation passed between the other two of Delta and the blonde girl. Baird shook his head in response, she gave him an appreciative smile.

"We'll be seeing you later Bernie. Got some things we gotta clear up." Cole said in a decibel lower than his usual booming tone. The Islander nodded hesitantly, Hoffman placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Anya gestured for them to follow after her, Bernie walked beside the girl while Victor lingered behind a step. They headed away from the crowd, towards the shore, silent the whole while. They had yet to see Marcus or Dom, and there was a tightening around Bernadette's heart. Did something happen to them? No, it wasn't possible…couldn't be. Denial bubbled forth, even though her seasons of experience with death told her to keep calm.

Once they were at where sand met stone steps, did a familiar form relieve some of the fear and worries. Only to have it replaced with something many times worse. As Anya spoke, Bernie could feel something she'd hadn't felt for many years…break within her. Hoffman braced a steadying hand on her arm, even so…his own had tremors from strained self-control. Marcus's shoulders were bowed like a defeated man, as he sat upon a rock. His entire body looked as if it wanted to simply curl into itself. All the Coalition armor stripped away, doo-rag abandoned leaving the black hair to rustle from the sea breeze. Anya spoke in a voice that was strung tight with pain and utter fear. Her words were low, as if worried he may hear.

"He hasn't slept more than an hour or so, every other day. Hardly eats anything, I practically have to sit over him in the mess hall to make sure he does get some form of nutrients. Barely speaks a word to anyone, even me. I'm…I'm terrified. It's only gotten worse. There are times…where I think some of the things I say get through to him…but-but…it's far too brief to have any actual impact. I've never seen him like this. Not after Carlos…not after prison…it's like he's nearly given up on living." Her words were tremulous with the urge to cry. Bernie was speechless, her brain still struggling to piece together was could possibly have taken place- before the Islander could say anything, Hoffman did.

"How did it happen?" those words were dead of emotion, all save but sorrow. Bernadette couldn't take her eyes away from the former Sergeant's form. There was a piece to the puzzle missing…and it was slowly dawning upon her who it was. As if unconsciously, Bernie started moving across the sand. Barely taking in what the blonde girl was saying. Lambent humans, they were swarmed, no escape, sacrifice… explosion… just like with Carlos. Except at least then there was something left to bury. The last brother he'd had left, the one biggest fear realized.

Bernie didn't even know how she'd gotten to Marcus as quickly as she had. Even as defeated his hunched form appeared, when her hand came to rest upon his back the tension reverberated throughout his whole body. This was killing him from the inside out, and she knew precisely how such a thing felt. The Islander squatted beside him, not speaking a word. She saw how his jaw clenched tightly, he didn't know who to talk to. Once upon a time, he'd have gone to Dom, but that was the problem wasn't it? The last thing left… from his childhood, stolen before his very eyes.

How long had he fought to keep Dominique safe? From everything, even himself? That Santiago was all he had had, and before he could even register the emotional wound…his father died, again. It was not surprising that even the seemingly strongest man would crumble once the pressure gave way. Now with peace upon them at last…there was nothing but time. Time to think about everything they've failed at, all the people they couldn't save. Bernie took his face in her hands, turning it so she was staring up into those dead blue eyes. With a voice a shaky as the emotional ground that was crumbling beneath her very feet, she spoke in a soft voice.

"I know how hard this is. I do. But…Marcus, sweetheart…this isn't what Dom would want for you. Nor your father. I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner. I wish I had been. But even if you can't do it now…you need to try to forgive yourself for what happened. You were the only thing that was keeping him alive, we all knew that. He…he wanted to die Marcus. It kills me to say that…but it's true." He tried to look away but she held firm, knowing that the other two were now lingering a few feet away. Still Bernie continued, eyes shimmering with the threat of tears.

"The moment he found Mariah…the instant he pulled that trigger…Dom had given up. Now he's gone…but…you're taking up his place. Don't you see that? You're blaming yourself the same bloody way he did. I'm not saying what he did was right, but I can understand why he was at peace with it…after a man looses that last raft keeping him a float…there's not much to stop him from drowning himself. Except… you have so much left for you Marcus. You saved all the remnants of Sera, even if you claim it was your fathers work…in the end…you helped it come to fruition." He grunted in disagreement, which was an improvement from the silent treatment. Anya knelt to embrace him from behind, tear-streaked face burrowed into the back of his shoulder.

"You have people that still need you. We've won the war…but the real test of survival is only just beginning. Do you understand Marcus? Your father left this planet in your hands, to help bring out of what will be a difficult time. Dom left the rest of your team, as well as Anya and Sam…for you to protect and fight for. So don't start throwing in the towel now. Do you hear me? You bleeding idiot? Cry for your losses…it doesn't make you any less a man. Mourn those lost, then move on but always remember what they did. Keep the moments of happiness wrapped around your heart so it can smother the darkness. If you claim loneliness, I understand why you feel that way… but you've got a young woman that wants to help you." Bernie could see the other members of Delta at the shoreline. Watching silently, waiting to see what would come from this overdue intervention. Letting go of his face, she placed a chaste yet comforting kiss to the top of his head. Resting her forehead to his, Bernie let her eyes close as she continued.

"Dom is at peace. He's with his wife, kids, family…I think he's able to wait a little longer until it's your time. But before that day comes, you'd better live it to the fullest. Do you understand me? Because I miss him too, but that doesn't mean I won't kick your friggen arse for making Stroud cry." She felt the tremors get worse, and Bernie knew he was crying. Silently, but even so… it was held back for far too long. His hands held tightly to Anya's, and Hoffman stood guard over them. She already knew that once in their own quarters, he'd shed silent tears as well. Far more brief than Marcus's, but even so.

Reassured that Marcus was past the emotional wall that had allowed his guilt to weigh heavily. Bernie quietly pulled away, to leave Marcus and Anya alone…to share this moment together. She and Hoffman moved off back to where the other two were watching nervously. Baird shifted awkwardly, uncertain as to what to do or say. Cole offered a handkerchief, Bernie didn't question where the Thrash ball player kept it. The blonde shifted his weight from one foot to the other, before he finally spoke.

"How's the big guy?" the concern would have been out of Blondie's usual character if it were any other situation. Normally she would have made a snide comment about him actually showing some emotion for another human being. Instead Mataki gave him a small smile, nodding approvingly. Hoffman was the one to answer this time,

"He'll pull through this. It'll be tough…but Fenix will survive." Even with the distancing by using the last name, Bernie knew better. She took his hand in her own, giving it a quick squeeze as thanks. They all glanced back briefly before heading towards the quarters to get debriefed in what played out after Delta Squad left Anvil Gate.

"Was there a burial? Even if it's empty casket, was there a memorial held for Dom?" She asked fleetingly as they entered the once breathtaking building. Baird shook his head in a negative, there probably hadn't been enough time to even settle in yet. Even so, it was high time they did. It was the only way to help them all move forward.

"Once things calm down a bit more… I think we should. The least we can do for Dom." She spoke in a low voice, and for once both Cole and Baird were silent. The silence was an agreement in and of itself. Hoffman wouldn't have any complaints staying for a week or so, just to see the problems settled as well as necessary respects paid. Though first thing she intended to do, was get her hands on some of Dizzy's moonshine. This was a night for memories, of a man with a heart too large to endure such a brutal war. Baird bitched about how much harder things were without imulsion to run their machines. Cole chuckled before turning the blondes complaint back around on him.

There were losses, but thankfully it was less than it would have been. Bernie couldn't begin to fathom never hearing those two banter amongst each other. Or watch Anya moon over Marcus like a high school girl with a crush on the thrashball captain. Have long conversations with Sam over some of the idiotic things the 'resident genius' Baird did. Losing Dom was a severe blow to their familial relationship, it would be an insult to say anything otherwise. They would bond together stronger than before, Bernie had no doubt to that. She watched her two boys walking in front of her, and as she did…only one thought crossed through Bernie's mind. No parent should ever have to bury their child…not even if just a foster.

**The End**

**Please let me know what you think. I stayed up for three hours…until four am writing this, because I had to get it all down right away or else I'd lose the inspiration. So… please let me know what you think. Please.**


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